


Blessed Are His Children After Him

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: fiftysomething [23]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Humor, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 01:44:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2410415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Never was it more important than you; never once.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blessed Are His Children After Him

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic the day before 100 premiered but posted it about an hour after the episode aired. I had no idea how much that canon story line was going to end up like this story. Holy moly, in hindsight those things are really interesting.
> 
> Jack has really been on my mind lately so I wrote this story. This is **#22** in the **fiftysomething** series. The quote is Proverbs 20:7 and says in full, “ _The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him._ ”

Jack turned when he heard the horn honking. Hotch pulled down the window and waved.

“Hey, Dad,” Jack and his friend walked over to the Jeep Grand Cherokee. “Nice wheels.”

“I was starting to feel like Nixon in that Towncar; I needed something I could breathe in. You know?”

“Not really.” Jack smiled. “I’ll take your word for it though.”

“Mom told me that you needed a ride.” Hotch replied, smirking.

“Just let me walk Anne to her car. You remember Anne, right Dad?”

“Of course,” That wasn’t quite true. Jack had so many friends it was hard to keep up. Hotch really did try to keep up; the company his kids kept was important to him. “It’s good to see you again, Anne.”

“You too, Deputy Director Hotchner. Have a good night.”

“I’ll be right back.” Jack said.

Hotch nodded, putting the window back up. The last time he checked, Jack was dating Melinda Cohen. He wasn’t completely up to date with his eldest son’s love life but thinking about it he hadn’t seen Lin in a while. Jack was so busy though; Hotch really didn’t know how he found time to do everything he was doing. Hotch was happy to pick him up this evening so they could talk. He wondered if Anne was his new girlfriend. Emily would know; mothers knew everything.

“I don't know what's wrong with the car.” Jack said when he climbed into the passenger seat. “It was fine this weekend but wouldn’t turn over this morning. Luckily I was able to catch Anne before she left her house.”

“I thought you were dating Lin.” Hotch replied. So much for discussing it with Emily.

“Lin and I broke up after Christmas.”

“Don’t say it that way, as if I was supposed to know. I wasn’t supposed to know…was I?”

“I told Mom but I didn’t tell anyone else. Ending a relationship is pretty tough; we’d been dating since sophomore year.”

“Yeah, I know.” Hotch nodded as he navigated out of the large parking lot. “So, Anne…”

“She’s really just a friend. There are so many things going on; no way would I be able just to jump into something like that. I like her, a lot, but in a few months she’s going to be at Sarah Lawrence studying politics and public policy. Long distance on our schedules is a disaster waiting to happen.”

“I wanted to talk to you about that actually.”

“Long distance relationships?” Jack raised an eyebrow.

“No,” His father smiled. “The next couple of months. High school graduation is quickly approaching.”

“Tell me about it. I'm working on my soliloquy for Macbeth for my final English project. If I get an A then I can opt out of the final. At this point it will only be Calculus and Physics; oh and maybe Political Science. I don’t trust my group that much. We’re doing a ten page paper and a 15 minute Power Point presentation on a President.”

“Which President did you choose?”

“Harry S. Truman.”

“He’s my favorite.” Hotch said.

“I knew that.” Jack nodded.

“I cannot believe you're a high school senior now. Forgive me, but I still look at you and see a four year old. I see the dimples on your face when you got that racecar bed.”

“That bed was awesome.” Jack smiled at the memory. “I remember you and Mom making sure it was 100% safe after you put it together. We should probably have some pictures of her testing it out.”

“I'm sure we do. Some days I really feel like I'm running to catch up, Jack. If I close my eyes, you're still four, ten…I can see you right after you were born.”

“You missed it.” Jack said. His tone was matter of fact, like his father’s. It didn’t convey any emotion.

“I'm afraid I missed a lot of things.” Hotch replied, sighing.

“I know how busy and important your work is, Dad.”

“Never was it more important than you; never once.”

“I know that, too. Mom always made sure I knew that.”

“Which mom?”

He hadn’t wanted to ask that but Hotch was feeling a little confused.

“Both of them.” Jack replied, smiling a bit. “Don’t worry Dad, its easy to get confused. I used to…well, not quite confused. I just never wanted Mom in heaven to think I could forget her. I pray that she looks out for me. I pray that she's in a better place. I talk to her every single time I'm about to go on the soccer field. I hold on to little rituals and things we shared. That’s really important to me. I plan to give them to my children some day.”

“She would be so proud of you; I know she would. You're an amazing kid. I'm so proud of you that I can hardly string together the words. I'm trying, Jack.”

“You think I don’t know?”

“I think you do, but that doesn’t mean I should get away with not telling you.”

“Alright,” Jack leaned back and crossed his arms. “So tell me.”

Hotch looked at him when he stopped at a red light. They both started laughing, it echoed throughout the car.

“I remember thinking I would be a horrible father.” Hotch confided when the laughter ended.

“Why would you ever think that?”

“I didn’t have the most shining example. Grandpa Tug is fantastic but by the time he married Nana I was almost your age. Your mother wanted children for a long time but I held off. Then when we started trying, conception was difficult. It put a lot of strain on her.”

“Mom called me her little miracle.” Jack said.

“You most certainly were; you were mine as well. I don't know what I would’ve done without your mom. She did all the hard stuff.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. I'm your son, so I know I'm rarely going to find fault in you but I always noticed that.”

“What?”

“That you don’t give yourself enough credit.” He repeated. “And sometimes…you don’t listen.”

“Sorry.” Hotch smiled. “All the ups and downs, the times when I wasn’t sure if I was going to come out on the other side of things, you were my guiding light, Jack. You and your brother and sisters make my life worthwhile. When I come to the end of my journey it’s not going to matter that I was once the Director of the FBI. What will matter are four happy, well-rounded, human beings with good lives. That’ll show the measure of my success on Earth.”

“Being the Director of the FBI is pretty sweet though, right?”

“Yeah, it is.” They laughed again as Hotch turned onto their street. “Almost home,”

“Is there something else you wanted to say, Dad?”

“I guess I'm pretty bad at this, huh?”

“You're doing just fine.” Jack said.

“I want nothing but the best for you.” Hotch pulled into the driveway. “You’ve been through so much but you’ve come out better than ever. I love you, I worry, and I pray that I've done all I can as a father. I love you, Jack.”

“I love you too. Whenever I've needed you, you’ve been there. If you couldn’t be there, for whatever reason, Mom was there for both of you. Not for one instant have I ever felt like I wasn’t important and loved by you. I've had an amazing life, even with the tragedies. I promise. I'm looking forward to the next phase.”

“So am I, kiddo. You're at the beginning of everything.”

Jack nodded, putting his hand on his father’s shoulder. Hotch reached up and covered it.

“It’s been a really long day and I'm starving. What's for dinner?” He asked.

“Mom made chicken, potatoes, and Brussels sprouts. I'm surprised you didn’t hear your little brother screaming from out here.”

“I know, right.” Jack laughed, opening the door. “Are you coming, Dad?”

“I’ll be right in. Go on; I'm OK.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Hotch nodded.

Jack climbed out of the car and headed up the front steps. He walked into the house and his father took a deep breath. Leaning his elbows on the steering wheel, Hotch linked his fingers as if in prayer and held them under his nose. He closed his eyes.

“I hope you're watching over him, Haley. I hope you see how beautiful and amazing he is. I hope you know he has your smile, no matter how much people say he has mine. I wish you were here, I miss you; I know Jack misses you. You're never far from his thoughts and Emily and I will always make sure that’s so. I promise you, Haley. I've broken so many promises to you but I’ll never break that one.”

Hotch jumped when he heard the tap on his window. Turning, he pushed down the window and smiled at his wife.

“Hey there,” Emily smiled. “Is everything OK?”

“Yeah,” he leaned out to kiss her. “I was talking to Haley.”

“Did you talk to Jack?”

“Mmm,” Hotch nodded. “I don't think I'm at all biased in saying he is one of the four most fascinating kids on the planet.”

“I happen to agree.” Emily replied. “Nice wheels.”

“That seems to be the general consensus.”

“C'mon inside, honey, we’re going to have dinner together.”

Hotch rolled up his window, got out of the car, and started walking toward the house with his arm around his wife.

***

  



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